The theory holds that the concept of "Real" in the BBS Scene rose from the bestselling book "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche", published in the early 1980's. The audacity of this title, along with the easy copy-cat books that surrounded it, are probably what led to a massive rush of textfiles dedicated to listing or describing examples of "Real" Pirates, "Real" Phreakers, "Real" Users, and a host of other modem personalities.
In some cases, the action gets extremely metaphysical, with a Guide to Real Pirate's Guides, and Guides to types that no-one outside of the author probably knew existed.
| Filename |
Size |
Description of the Textfile |
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808-elit.txt | 5817 | How to Be Elite, by 808 State (1991)
| anarch.hum | 5680 | Anarchists: What a bunch of Pussies! By Mr. Curious
| anarchy.hum | 3125 | How to be an Anarchist (Probably should be REAL ANARCHISTS...)
| anklebyt.txt | 11102 | The Real Anklebyter's Guide
| bangers.txt | 3093 | The Real Guide to Headbangers Volume 2: By Night Hawk and Night Ranger
| compnerd.hum | 3930 | How to be a Computer Nerd (Also known as "REAL NERDS")
| engineer.txt | 1548 | Real Engineers
| k00ld00d.txt | 5069 | The History of Real K-K00l D00Ds by The Edge
| killnerd.hum | 5680 | Spotting and Killing Nerds by John Smith and Sorcerer's Apprentice
| kooldoo4.txt | 8409 | K-K00L D00Ds Volume 4, by The Radioactive Snail
| lechhate.hum | 6307 | What Leeches Hate about AE Sysops
| leechdic.hum | 8997 | The Leech Dictionary, by the Blue Buccaneer
| leechus.hum | 7259 | A Lengthy Comparison of Real Users and Real Leeches
| losers.hum | 4250 | Real Losers Guide Volume 1, by The Enforcer
| mel-prog.txt | 7805 | The Story of a REAL Real Programmer: Mel
| melvins.gph | 3328 | Real Computer Melvins
| pirates.txt | 13730 | A Couple of Real Pirates Guides
| pirates2.txt | 6066 | The Real Pirates Guide Volume III V.2 Written by the Whip
| power.txt | 7472 | The Power User Guide to Power Users
| pyros.hum | 4145 | The Real Pyros Guide by The Locksmith
| quiche.txt | 3588 | Real Programmers Don't Eat Quiche
| real.pro | 1809 | Real Programmers Don't Eat Quiche
| real_p.rog | 26141 | Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal, by Ed Post, Tektronix
| real_pro.pas | 24993 | Real Programmers Don't Use PASCAL, by Ed Post, Tektronix
| real_pro.spe | 6437 | Real Porgrammers Don't Write Specs
| realcpnk.txt | 11780 | The Men from Mongo present Real Cyberpunks (September 24, 1991)
| realduh.txt | 2300 | The Real Deversi Dial Users Guide
| realeng.sof | 3393 | Real Software Engineers Don't Read Dumps
| realgame.hum | 5398 | A Guide to Real Gamers, by Fritz Mertens
| realhomo.hum | 5065 | The Guide to Real Homosexuals/Lesbians. I Suspect Fake.
| realluze.hum | 3709 | The Real Luzer's Guide, by Jimmy the Phreak
| realmel.pro | 9262 | Real Programmers Write in Fortran
| realmen.txt | 24689 | Real Programmers Don't Write Pascal
| realops.txt | 5248 | The Real operator's Guide
| realpas.pro | 25241 | Real Programmers Don't Use PASCAL
| realphre.hum | 6209 | Real Phreaker's Guide Volume I, by Taran King
| realpir.hum | 4039 | Your Guide to Real Pirates Guides
| realpir.txt | 9344 | The Real Pirate's Guide, by Ctrl-Reset
| realpira.hum | 6529 | The Real Pirate's Guide, by Rabid Rasta
| realprgr.txt | 3807 | Another Real Progammers Guide
| realpro.hum | 8713 | Real Programmers Don't use Fortran!
| realprog.txt | 2178 | Real Programmers
| realrokr.txt | 2202 | A Real Rocker's Guide, by The Rocker
| realscie.hum | 3529 | Real Computer Scientists Don't Write Code
| realsoft.hum | 3434 | Real Software Engineers Don't Read Dumps
| realsoft.txt | 9977 | Real Software Engineers Don't Read Dumps
| realsurf.txt | 2454 | The Code of being a Real Surfer
| realsys.txt | 2136 | Real Sysops Don't Eat Quiche by Karl Kemerait and T. Badd
| realteac.hum | 12156 | Real Computer Teachers, by The Joker
| realuser.txt | 3043 | Real Sysops and Unreal Board Crashers, and Real BBS Users, by The Master Watchman
| realwork.hum | 5001 | Real Works Users, by Jason Scott
| rpg.001 | 7552 | The Real Pirate's Guide
| rpg1.txt | 6858 | Being a Real Pirate.
| rpg2.txt | 7738 | Real Pirate's Guide, 2nd Edition
| rpg3.txt | 3302 | Real Pirate's Guide, 3rd Edition
| ruggies.hum | 5155 | The Real Ruggie's Guide
| skimboar.hum | 4192 | A Guide to Real Skimboarders
| skinstud.hum | 7733 | Real Skins Versus Real Studs
| some.humor? | 6362 | Collection of Really Weird News Stories from 1976
| squid.hum | 6850 | The True Definition of a Squid
| unrealus.hum | 3594 | The Unreal User and the Real User, by Floppie Freddie
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| There are 61 files for a total of 425,952 bytes. |